"New Day" by AVALON

New Day -- A song by AVALON

It's a new day, it's a new time, and there's a new way-
All the old has passed away and the new has come.
Thank God, it's a brand new day!

Looking back on yesterday,
There are things that I regret-
But I put the past behind me
And I never will forget.
YOU have covered my mistakes
And my broken dreams.
Now over the horizon I see the dawn is drawing near-
And I realize the sun did rise;
Tomorrow's finally here.
And it's a new day!

And now when I wake up thinking,
About the things I've done before.
Memories I could not escape-
Well, they can't haunt me anymore.
Now I can hold my head up high,
Because I'm not the same.
YOU've changed my whole perspective;
And with my eyes I see,
I've become a new creation-
Because of what YOU've done for me.
No I'm not ashamed.
This heart of mine is finally free.
I will never be the same-
Because it's a new day.
Thank God it's a brand new day!

Recovering Control Freak!

I admit it...I am a recovering control freak. As with anything we are OCD about "recovering" means I still have those tendencies, but because I'm aware of them I can try to keep myself in check. In my hay day as "controller of all things" I wouldn't have been able to tell you that that was what I was doing. Sometimes we even kid ouselves into thinking we actually are in control. Imagine! Who sets goals for something that's impossible to achieve? Apparently, I do. When I look back now, I see that I was just trying to protect myself. And I had plenty of good reasons for doing it. We deceive ourselves into thinking that by controlling things we will keep ourselves from getting emotionally hurt.

So how does one become a recovering control freak? At some point trying to control our world gets downright exhausting. Not being in control means that we leave it up to someone else and the possibility that they will not come through for us. Not being in control means that we stop worrying, especially about the things that are clearly out of our control. Not being in control means SURRENDER. There, I said it. The big surrender word. Give up, white flag surrender. But realizing we cannot control the things we want to control can feel hopeless. I was in my lowest of lows when I finally realized what I was doing. It took other people to lovingly show me. And the best part of all was realizing that there actually was someone in control. Instead of trying to make my life turn out the way I want, someone else has the plan.

God has a plan. He is in control of everything. The only thing you can control is how you think and how you live (Francine Rivers). If things aren't working out in your world, maybe it's not just your world that's the problem. Sometimes we need to take a hard look inside. Why do we make the choices we make? Who are we living for? Where do we put our trust? And trust is a whole other story (read A Little Something About Trust for my take on that).

Part of the reason I'm writing this is because I'm struggling with it today. I want to have all the answers. I wish I could "fix" people's problems. It would be great if I knew exactly what choices I was supposed to make, the magic thing I could say, or the perfect thing to meet someone's need. And then I wind up feeling exhausted again, and then hopelessness starts, and I feel discouraged. But then I remember...His hands are open, ready for me to hand the reins back over to Him, so that I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Why is this so hard? Oh, because I'm "recovering" and I'm not perfect.

But He is!

Seventy-Seven Times

So we've established that because we're human we both disappoint and are disappointed by others. So that brings up another area to consider, and that's forgiveness. I find it easy to forgive the minor mistakes and hurtful behavior of others. I don't think I'm a grudge keeper. But it's the big hurts, the hugely impactful disappointments and betrayals that I have had to grapple with. Let me preface by saying that I understand that I am called to forgive. I agree that God forgives so I must also forgive. In the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (MATTHEW 18:21-22) Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" and Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Let's be honest, forgiveness is a pretty heavy concept. It's not hard for God, so why do you think it's so hard for us? I'm sure our own baggage has something to do with it (ya think?). How much hurt and disappointment do you have to experience before you become bitter and hardened? Before you start protecting yourself more and trusting other people less? This has to be why forgiveness is at the heart of God's message (Colossians 3:12-14). Before we take on a role as "victim" try to remember the convicting story in John 8:3-8 when a woman accused of adultery was brought to Jesus and he said "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (or in Matthew 7:1-5 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"). This is what we should do, but do we? When we are wronged do we remember the times when we screwed up and needed someone's forgiveness?

I have had some things happen in my life that required me to work through the issue of forgiveness. It wasn't as easy for me as I would have liked. I read a book called, "Choosing Forgiveness" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, that helped. I think I got all caught up in the expression "forgive and forget". I thought that in order to forgive someone I had to forget that it ever happened. Unless someone has invented a mind eraser then I don't think that's going to happen any time soon. Who thought that expression up anyway? I think part of me didn't want to forget. Maybe I just didn't want him to ever forget...and that's my sin. I have learned that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. Although I can forgive because I have been asked by the person to forgive, their desire for forgiveness, even their repentence (or lack there of) should not impact whether or not I choose to forgive them. How hard is that? Forgiveness is an act of faith and its a choice. It doesn't mean pretending that the offense never happened and erasing it from memory. "Forgiveness is a promise...a deliberate decision to deal with another's sin by doing away with it" (Nancy Leigh DeMoss).

Mark Gungor said in LAUGH YOUR WAY TO A BETTER MARRIAGE that "unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die." Funny AND true! You are the only one that suffers when you don't forgive someone else. It can eat you up inside until all you're left with is bitterness. Holding on to the pain & hurt that others have caused you only leaves you angry and lonely. "...Whatever sin has been committed against you, the choice NOT to forgive is itself a serious sin" (Nancy Leigh DeMoss).

Let me leave you with this parting thought...forgiveness can get easier with time. Time heals and we might even forget...a little. Letting go of things you cannot change is freeing. "God has not counted our sins against us" (2 Cor. 5:19). "When it comes to forgiveness, (He) would not command us to do something that He would not enable us to do" (Nancy Leigh DeMoss). If I let myself go there, the pain of things in the past still hurt. I can go right back to each offense and feel exactly what I was feeling that day. But how will that help or change anything? Instead, by letting go & forgiving, I can have hope for tomorrow, I can focus on what lies ahead, and I can trust God to see me through, even when the next disappointment comes (because it will come).

"Whatever's in the past, it's exactly the past God wants us to have. He doesn't want us to try to change it or forget it. He wants us to learn how to use it to serve him." --KEVIN HUGGINS

Far Away from Ground Zero

I wanted to write a blog entry today. I had several thoughts about what I could write about. But then, I felt guilty. It's life as usual here in Pennsylvania. Adam goes to work, I take the kids to school, make dinner...you know, the usual. It's easy to get caught up in the every day things and perhaps forget for a moment that there is a crisis going on in Haiti. This morning I woke up to newsradio announcing a 2nd earthquake hit today. What does that mean for a country already in crisis? Because we don't watch a lot of TV in our house these days, it's easy to stay out of the loop. Maybe it's self-protective. If you don't see the pictures or hear the details it won't break your heart? You won't feel so helpless? The sun is shining, I have running water, my kids have to go to school, nothing has changed in my life. I guess I'm just feeling convicted that I need to be aware. They need our prayers and whatever else we have to give!

The earthquake in Haiti is devasting to its people, but there is a whole other issue going on and that's how the orphans will fair through all of this. I'm slowly becoming more informed by visiting the following websites:

The Livesay's
Randy and Kelcey Bohlender of the Zoe Foundation
Heartline Ministries
Worldwide Village

As I read at these sites, tears well in my eyes. Have I been so clueless? It's hard to know what it's really like there. It's hard to know what the true issues are. So the only thing we absolutely can do is pray. These ministries are asking for prayer. So that's what we can do. For God knows what is going on there. He knows every detail of what is happening. He is in control! He will make a way! When we can do nothing, but live our life today, doing our regular uneffected routine, He is at work!
JAMES 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

From the Heartline Ministries website:

We have prioritized our needs as follows:
First of all, we need prayer for Haiti and for safety of our people in Haiti. Our clinic is up and going. Please see the blog updates from John, Livesay's and Buxman's for details and pictures. Pray for the wounded.
Second, we are in great need of finances. We recognize that it will take more people knowing our need than our small base of supporters. We are asking each of you to spread the news by sending information and links to our website to as many people as possible.

My final encouragement comes from an excerpt of an article called "The Biblical Response to Disaster Requires Surrender" by Michael Barrick
To read this article in it's entirety click HERE.

A Biblical Response
Nehemiah offers Christians a step-by-step process on how to respond to disaster in a righteous, godly manner that, despite tragedy, will lead to kingdom expansion. The first step, prayer, seems to be the hardest, especially when we are overwhelmed with heart-wrenching scenes and repeated appeals for help. Still, as with Nehemiah, our challenge is to acknowledge and confess, especially publicly, that we are unable to deal with the disasters (and opportunities they present for sharing our faith) without God’s guidance. In doing so, the honor and glory will go to God from the start instead of to people or the programs.

So then, acknowledging the power of unified prayer is the first challenge facing the Church. Indeed, it is the proper first response so that we can know how to care for those in need and earn the right to share the hope found only in Jesus. When we do pray in one accord we have an incredible opportunity to allow God to demonstrate his presence in the midst of the storm.

It was not until he totally and fully surrendered to God that Nehemiah was directed to inspect the damage of the walls or go about any business of doing anything (Nehemiah 2:11-16). Once he assessed the damage, he then asked God to show him what it would take to rebuild the walls.

(Photograph from http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/)

A New Year

The ball drops, the fireworks pop, and everyone shouts "Happy New Year!" My kids look at me and say, "What's the big deal?" Good question, I think. Hooray, we've made it through another year? So excited for a fresh start? What is it about the digits in the year changing that makes us want to celebrate? The first week of January friends were complaining how they couldn't find a parking spot at the gym. Commitments to New Years Resolutions abound with quitting this and changing that. Motivated by the date change to find some self-control that was missing all of the other months of the year? It's kind of funny if you think about it. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate new chapters and fresh starts. I mean whatever it takes to get you moving, changing, doing, growing, learning. I just wonder sometimes why we feel like we have to resolve to change something at the start of each new year?

So, where is my encouragement? I mean that's what I want this blog to be, right? Maybe what I'm getting at is what motivates you? Is it a dissatisfaction with who you are? Is it a desire to be or look different? Is it for your spouse or is it because you're not happy with yourself? Are the changes you are making taking things away or adding things to your life?

In this self-focused world, I wonder what it would be like if the New Years Resolutions people had were to volunteer more, to reach out to someone in need, to party less and have quality time with your family more, to read things that encourage you instead of things that bring you down? What would this world be like if people decided to try to be others-focused instead of self-focused?

I just wonder...

Blogging Anniversary

Well, I just realized that I managed to keep this blog going for a whole year! Happy Anniversary to me! When I started NEW TO THIS I didn't know if I would actually keep it up. To my surprise I have enjoyed writing and sharing my heart with whoever might be reading. So thank you faithful blog followers and occasional visitors for reading my entries and encouraging me to continue. I always like to hear that someone is reading it and perhaps getting something out of what I've written.

God willing, I will continue having something to say and the words to share it for another year.

Let It Snow!

"Little bits of heaven floating gently by the window." I don't know why I like snow so much. Maybe I would have loved living in the mountains instead of the suburbs of Philly? Truth is, I like the changing seasons. And I am celebrating the fact that it snowed before Christmas. I can't remember the last time we had this much snow before January and I'm loving it. Not sure exactly how much snow we actually got, but they were saying between 12-18 inches. It snowed for 24 hours! So much fun!

We shoveled out our driveway this morning and I was thanking God for this special gift with each shovel full. I get the sense from others that I'm in the minority. To most, the snow is a nuisance and a hassle. I think it's beautiful! Although I am in a good mood because Christmas is only 3 days away, I always love snow. What else can stop the world? Church was cancelled and except for a short drive to the sledding hill, we have just been at home. In this hurried season, when people are rushing around with their last minute Christmas shopping, only snow could slow us down.

LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!

CHRISTmas Is Coming!

The smell of evergreen is in the air. Twinkling lights, stockings hung, presents wrapped, carols playing, and building anticipation for the "big day". Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays! And there is not one particular thing that I like about it. I like everything about it!

With all there is to do, it's difficult to not get caught up in all that needs to be done. The "holiday season" is busy, stressful, and hurried. My "To Do' list is full of things I need to do. The countdown is on!

But in the midst of all the running around, Christmas parties, cookie making, gift getting, and decorating the true reason for Christmas always seems to get overshadowed. It's easy to say it's not about the peripheral things, but we have to get those things done. But where is our heart during this Advent season?

Christmas is first and foremost a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the promised Savior. It is a reminder of the great sacrafice God made for us in sending His Son to the Earth, knowing full well His holy plan meant Jesus would one day die on a cross as an atonement for our sins. Christmas is about love, God's love, for us.

I'm sure you have heard the statement, "Keep Christ in Christmas!". The world is full of things to worship; food, sex, money, alcohol, our jobs, each other, television, ourselves! And we so easily get sucked in and we don't even realize we're doing it! If we're not careful, we can get sucked in to the world's view of Christmas and forget all about what it's really about.

I'm not saying we should not enjoy the season and all the wonderful things that go along with it. But please, don't celebrate the day. Celebrate Christ!

The Christmas Story (from the Bible):
Matthew 1:18 - 2:23
Luke 1:26 - 2:40

Reunion

On the Friday after Thanksgiving, aka "Black Friday", Adam & I attended our 15 Year High School Reunion. The last reunion we attended was about 10 years ago, 5 years after high school. To say that we weren't nervous about going would be an understatement. We almost chickened out 15 minutes before we had to be there. I've gained weight, Adam's lost hair, but more things have changed over the last 15 years then just our physical appearance. As we began justifying why we shouldn't go...we had a babysitter and it would be more fun to just have a date night together...we realized that as much as we have changed inside & out, so had our other classmates. With that, we went to the reunion with an open mind and confidence in who we are today.

The reunion was sometimes awkward, mostly fun, and very interesting catching up with old friends and classmates. We are all older, and hopefully more mature. We have husbands & wives, children, and careers. And I believe that God's plan for Adam & I included going to this high school and being friends with these people. That for 12 years (some more, some less) we were connected. We walked the same halls, had the same teachers, and participated in sports, choir, theater, and other extracurriculars together. Time and life has changed us, but it was sure fun to see that they are still out there, living life, and doing well.

If we seemed different, it was because we are. But life is good, God is faithful, and we'll see you again, God willing, in another 5 years!

Giving Thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving!

As I consider the approaching holiday, I am overwhelmed by how completely and utterly thankful I am! I cannot believe the blessings God has given me, in my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my church. And I try to take notice of them daily, not just when Thanksgiving rolls around again. There is so much to be thankful for!

I am a wife, a mom, and most importantly a child of God. He has chosen me (Isaiah 41:9) which I think is beautiful and humbling. And the fact that “all the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16) is just overwhelming. He loves me. Not because of what I’ve done or haven’t done. He loves me where I am, imperfect and sinful. I walk through my day with fleeting thoughts of Him and he waits patiently for my return. Who else would do that? In my darkest times, “the Lord is my light and the one who saves me” (Psalm 27:1). It hasn’t always felt that way. I was living in darkness for a long time and didn’t even know it. Yes, God has always been present in my life, but I never truly got it, got Him, until I was in my late 20’s. I have truly been on a journey with Him and it is such a blessing to be able to look back and see His hand in it all.
“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise!” (Psalm 96:4)

Thank you, Adam, for being my husband, for better and for worse, rich or poor, sickness and health. Watching God work in your life brings me closer to Him. Thank you for your enduring love, for trusting me, and letting me be your helpmeet (Genesis 2:18).

I am so thankful for my beautiful children! Precious time spent with them, seeing them learn and grow, watching them laugh and dance and sing...
Ellie's laugh and helpful heart-
Caleb's sense of humor and love for others-
...my heart is overjoyed at the priviledge I have being a Mom to these children.

My loving family, my loyal & supportive friends, my church family...I am so thankful for each and every one of you. You encourage, strengthen, and support me and I am so grateful! I am a better person because you are in my life!

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving! And may you all know what a blessing you are to me!

Glorious Day!

Off of their new album, this song is by far my favorite so far. It's overwhelming, beautiful truth!

GLORIOUS DAY – by Casting Crowns

One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

His Hand

There are days when I have doubts. There are times when it doesn't make sense. Sometimes I feel disconnected. I talk and I don't know if anyone's listening. Sometimes, I feel swept up in life, the duties, the errands, the responsibilities, that I forget all about Him.

But then, there are times...when I see and feel Him moving. I see Him drawing people together, arranging circumstances, making things happen. His presense in these times is overpowering. In all of my efforts to make sense of things, things just don't make sense. The world calls it coincidence, fate, karma. I call it God. Only God could work all the particulars out, down to the tiniest details.

There is something more out there. There just is. It may take faith to believe it. And it's by grace that we accept Him and by grace that He moves and acts in our lives. If we believe He is good, then we must believe that everything he does is for good...our good.

So no, I don't have it all figured out. I don't have all of the answers. But it's hard to not believe in a God that changes lives. A God that redeems the worst of people and works through them for His glory. A God that helps us through the struggles, knowing we will wind up being better for it if we just persevere (James 1:12). Afterall, He promises in all things to work for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and He is demonstrating that promise in my life and my husband's life daily.

So many times, particularly during a trial, we wonder "Why is God doing this to me?" I think this passage is a reminder that He's not.

"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth..."
JAMES 1:13-18

Stay With Me - by Barlow Girl

STAY WITH ME - by Barlow Girl
(Listen to the song or be encouraged by Barlow Girl's intro to the song)

Hopeless, getting through this night
And life is not dying in this fight
I'm begging you to deliver me
Confused why you won't take this pain from me

My steps never felt so hard
The end never look so far but
If you won't take me out
Then please take me through this

Stay with me so I won't leave
And make me see that this is not forever
'Cause all I need is your love pulling me

What is the reason for this night
Is hope found in fullness with no light
Does strength grow in our greatest fears
God I pray something good will come from this pain

With you here I know
I don't go alone
I am yours and so
Through the fire I'll go

The Art of Doing Nothing

It rained for days. Cold, wet rain. A gray, gloomy sky that made you want to put the lights on during the day. The kind of "rain wave" that makes you appreciate the sunshine. But even the cold rain cloud has a silver lining...

This past weekend was going to be crazy, hectic. Caleb's soccer season is winding down and he was scheduled to play a double header on both Saturday and Sunday (seems a little much for intramural, 2nd grade soccer, but that's another story).Our church's AWANA program was also beginning on Sunday night at 5:30pm and we weren't sure whether we were even going to be able to get there on time with the soccer games. I didn't even tell you about Friday night, but you get the picture. Busy, busy, busy!

I was already feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, so I was NOT looking forward to the weekend of running from here to there. Then, came the blessing. In a cold, wet noreaster (make it 2 in a row) that decided to descend on us at the end of last week, the soccer games were rescheduled and we were left with a completely open Saturday. As much as I hated being chilled to the bone, it was a small price to pay for a Saturday to do nothing. We ate breakfast at 11am. We had a soft pretzel for lunch at 2pm. And dinner was cheap chinese from the grocery store. We stayed in our PJs most of the day. We snuggled under blankets, we watched a movie, we did nothing productive and it was WONDERFUL!

Never underestimate the power of downtime. No responsibilites, no commitments to be somewhere, no one counting on us to do anything. And it was just what I needed. I felt refreshed, relaxed, and reconnected with my family again. Okay so just like the "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" we actually did some things, but it was all by our choosing.

Thank you, God, that because of the rain we had a day off...so we could prepare ourselves for the 2 double headers Caleb's going to have this weekend instead.

"What If?" from the album BRAVE by Nichole Nordeman

What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

You've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?

What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

(LISTEN)